NEWS & EDITORIAL REVIEWS
“Beautiful house, with beautiful views. A magnificent property, complements to staff that are a credit to you & helped to make our stay. Very relaxed & enjoyable. Nothing was too much trouble. Thank you to everyone”.
Mr & Mrs Burke, via Guest survey, November 2016
Excellent bar staff. Loved the log fire. A memorable experience. Brilliant bed! Pillows & views!
Mr & Mrs Hodgson, via Guest survey, November 2016
Keep doing what you are doing. Such lovely surroundings and furnishings is perfect keeping with the environment. Please don’t ever take Eggs benedict off the breakfast menu!
Mr & Mrs Crampton, via Guest survey, November 2016
What an amazing and special place for our honeymoon!
Everything about our stay has been perfect. The dining experience was incredible and so special that it could also be a stand-alone gift experience as it beats hands down any I have seen before. Thank you so much to everyone at Simonstone Hall
Mr & Mrs Carter, via Guest survey, August 2016
“Sunday Lunch with Friends”
The location in autumn was outstanding, and the warmth of Simonstone Hall was warm friendly and inviting. Outstanding service and attention to detail. The food was delicious and of a high standard. If you are looking for something a little special, presented well, without being overpriced, then this is your place. A treat for a special occasion.
I would suggest booking.
Mollypops111, via Trip Advisor, October 2016
“Escaping city life for a relaxing stay at Simonstone”
Absolutely loved my weekend stay at Simonstone. Amazing views to escape the city, great vibe and very friendly staff. Super close to pubs & shops nearby to explore the local area too. Room was very clean and amazing Victorian/Georgian features.
Will definitely be returning to this beautiful spot in the lakes, but with more friends next time!
Helen P, via Trip Advisor, November 2016
We recently ate at Simonstone on the eve of our daughter’s wedding. I wanted a simple meal and choose salmon. It’s was beautifully cooked, served with champ and vegetables. They were pleased with the whole experience; we were in a hurry to get home so we were served quickly by a very friendly and pleasant waitress. I think that around £15 for a main course, it was very good value.
Room Tip: They are all good but I liked the ones overlooking the lawns and distant fells.
Theinnercook, October 2016
“Great Place for a Quiet Drink!”
First time here tonight, arrived with a friend for a drink and it’s such a nice little place. Lovely bar area and plenty of space to sit both inside and outside. Both staff members we saw were really friendly, approachable and welcoming.
Will definitely be returning!
Thebenst3r, via Trip Advisor, October 2016
Glorious stay and the staff couldn’t be friendlier or more helpful.
Ms Spence, Comment Book, October 2016
This is a beautiful hotel and location, excellent food, wonderful room.
To see a blanket of snow on our last day was fantastic. Thank you.
Vanessa & Dave Allen, Comment Book, November 2016
Wonderful place to stay. Bar & restaurant amazing! Will be back!
Bren & John, Comment Book, November 2016
Brilliant stay! Thank you for your hospitality – loved it! We will re-visit
Room 6 & 7, Comment Book, November 2016)
We enjoyed our visit to Simonstone. You and your colleagues made us very welcome and you laid on some pretty good food, and weather! It was a pleasure to be in the Dales and they looked beautiful.
Best regards from us all, via Email, July 2016
“Just got home after spending the weekend at simonstone hall for our 20th wedding anniversary – truly a superb setting, room and view devine and staff very friendly and nothing was too much trouble – thanks – would recommend highly for an extra special place with excellent location and service”
Mr & Mrs Frost, via Facebook, July 2016
“Lovely stay – great hotel & staff”
Alex & Mike Barrell, 26-29 June 2016
“What a stunning place – we couldn’t have loved it more! Excellent food, service, rooms and views –
thank you for making it such a memorable mini-break, cant wait to come back soon!”
Mr & Mrs Merrimor, June 2016
“Jolly Good! Very much enjoyed our stay, LOVELY SPOT!”
Mr & Mrs Mahany, 19-25 June 2016
“Beautiful location, stunning panoramic views , attentive friendly professional staff, fabulous food, why more can we say!! Oh yes, the sun shines everytime we visit!!…”
Mr & Mrs M. Hughes & Family, via Facebook, June 2016
“Had an absolutely amazing week at Simonstone Hall, such lovely staff and a very welcoming atmosphere! Thanks to all for such a lovely stay and a great wedding day for all! Hope to see all again soon!”
Kayleigh Jane via Facebook, May 2016
“A very welcoming Hotel, great staff, fantastic food & wonderful countryside”
Mr & Mrs Arm, May 2016
“Lovely stay. Excellent Room, Superb food. Very welcoming and friendly staff – THANK YOU!”
Mr & Mrs Barman, May 2016
“We had a lovely stay, thank you. Beautiful room, bed, food and atmosphere”
Rymer & Desmond, 17-19 May 2016
“Peace, tranquility, great atmosphere, and WONDERFUL food”
Mr & Mrs Booth, May 2016
“Lovely place, lovely people, very good food and an INCREDIBLE view – THANK YOU!”
Mr & Mrs Cozine, 7-9 May 2016
“Tremendous hospitality, we really enjoyed our stay, SEE YOU SOON!!”
Ms Foster & Family, April 2016
“Lovely welcoming hotel, food great & thanks for a fantastic stay”
Mr & Mrs Buchanan, 23rd April 2016
“I’ve had a wonderful stay; staff & food excellent! Thank You X”
Ms Landles, 18-21st April 2016
“Memorable family get-together in perfect setting with first-class service. Many thanks to all! BRILLIANT!”
Mr & Mrs Fairley (& Bonnie the Westie!), 16th April 2016
“Lovely hotel with brilliant views in snow or sun! Restaurant is definitely worthy of a few rosettes”
Marcus & Sarah Flint, & Frodo the dog!, 8-12th April 2016
“Wonderful views from our fantastic bedroom. AMAZING dinner in the Drawing Room restaurant”
Mr & Mrs Cashman, 9-10th April 2016
“Superb, creative food, friendly & very attentive service. Extremely comfortable accommodation.
Feeling totally spoilty after such a fantastic stay! THANK YOU!”
Mr & Mrs Bollans, 23-26th March 2016
“Wonderful service, delicious food & lovely surroundings – will be back again!”
Mr & Mr Harrison, March 2016
“It was the most perfect stay, EVER! Room, food, staff – all top class! Thank You!”
Sofie & Gabriel, March 2016
BLOG UPDATE 07.02.2018
MISSING CHICKEN FOUND DEAD AT SIMONSTONE HALL HOTEL – THE BEST HOTEL IN YORKSHIRE OR PROBABLY THE WORLD.
A horrific massacre in the Simonstone Hall Country House Hotel paddock has lead to a short-term shortage of free-range, freshly-laid breakfast eggs for our loyal and satisfied, happy guests.
Horrific scenes unfolded in the newly-restored kitchen gardens of this stunning rural retreat, as young new hotelier, Jake, (who has worked tirelessly for almost two years, since moving home to the Yorkshire Dales from London (after a spell working as an Architect in West Africa) to set about establishing the Hotel as the best in Yorkshire), finds his beloved egg-layer DEAD, in a crime so awful, sooo spine-tinglingly gruesome, that even the stunning backdrop, breathtaking surroundings and panoramic views across the Yorkshire Dales couldn’t distract the resident peacocks, Basil and Sybil, or the passing happy hikers, who were out enjoying the local walks, scenery and wildlife here, from the horror of it all.
Basil and Sybil Peacock, who had previously been known to be on extremely good, neighbourly terms with the victim were not being held as suspects at this time, as no one could catch them, however, both had been questioned as potential witnesses to the mysterious incident; in return for brioche, and grapes. Sybil, who is of course never one to gossip, did however, point out that the resident family of Red Squirrels had been seen in the gardens the previous afternoon, around the time that the spine-tinglingly horrifying crime must have been committed. The squirrels were later excluded from enquiries based on their amusing antics and cute, fluffy most-innocent appearance. Obviously.
The scene proved to be a little too traumatic for one of the more regular Hotel guests, who until this point, had been enjoying the fantastically local, seasonal and delicious menus, the phenomenally comfortable and enticing beds and the afore mentioned, unbeatable views during his stay. Of the incident he commented that, “had the food not been so fantastic, the hotel not been so informally comfortable and loaded with warm, authentic country house hospitality, the friendly staff not been so brilliantly attentive or the wine cellar selection not been so stellar, the whole debacle may have, but probably not quite, spoiled his seventh stay at Simonstone Hall”. Mr Excellentopinion returned, aghast, with his spaniel, Binky, to the dog-friendly hotel, to enjoy a much-needed-and-very-local pint of Simonstone Hall in the Bar, and a Bonio. Mr Excellentopinion always enjoyed a complimentary Bonio with his Ale, much to Binky’s dismay.
The expansive terrace, with those very wonderful views of across upper Wensleydale, yes, the home of the very famous cheese (as featured on the impressive cheeseboard), was temporarily closed as crime scene investigations, and afternoon tea got under-way.
Alan, the bald but cheerful-enough gardener who was on hand to aid police with the investigation, admitted that he had not returned to check if the barn door had been properly secured before leaving, on account of being busy somewhere else in the garden, until dark. Finger-prints were taken and DNA hair samples were attempted.
Suspicion, of course, turned to the Kitchen and Head Chef Christopher Hemsworth, in an Agatha Christie-esque round of whodunit. So passionate about seasonal flavours and LOCAL produce, all eyes moved to the young Chef, and the mouthwateringly beautiful food he has produced for that days diners. Of the fully-loaded vegetable raised-beds, he was often heard declaring that the best produce was always freshly plucked from the garden, however, his attachment to the happy free-range team of Simonstone hens was widely known and undeniable. “We serve the best breakfast in the world at Simonstone Hall, which includes, *sniffles* included, some of the most magnificent eggs from that magnificent hen! – Why would I murder her?”, he pleaded!
He was right, no-one could question the quality of that man’s food, or the integrity of his produce, or the brilliance of the Breakfast, Lunch, Afternoon Tea, Packed Hampers, entrees, Evening meals or Sunday Roasts that he and his team produce. Subtly and calmly (so as not to disturb the relaxing, casual atmosphere in the Hotel lounge), suspicions moved to the remaining guests, who despite even the most guilty conscience, would have enjoyed the best nights sleep in the enticing four-poster beds here. Paul, their charmingly old-school host faithfully confirmed each guests’ alibis and Alan continued to look on, twiddling his soily moustache between his sausage fingers as though to draw attention from his round red head, and any suspicion from the guests.
Alan was enjoying yet another tea break, before trimming the roses around the door, but as chief chicken-feeder, had downed-tools for a while on account of his grief, the sunshine and an insatiable thirst for Yorkshire tea.
It is a mystery, much like that of Shergar, the missing horse, or the ‘unsolved mystery of the very unsolvable thing’, the investigators declared, (between mouthfuls of homemade cake and macaroons), that the perpitrator may never be found. This was much to the disappointment of the housekeepers, who had downed feather-dusters and joined Al on his tea break for the afternoon, and unsurprisingly, in his immense grief for this loss.
The neighbouring Gamekeepers who had since arrived to drop of some fresh Game from the morning Grouse Shoot on the surrounding moors and to partake of the lovely and very local ale available, denied any knowledge and ruled out the increasing notions of a renegade fox in the area. They have weathered, genuine faces and rosy cheeks that were to be believed. Besides, they too, were frequently known to enjoy an occasional basket of garden produce and fresh eggs ahead of a day in the surrounding countryside.
And so it remains, that the heartless perpetrator is yet to be found and the mystery of the very dead hen, next to the apple tree, remains unsolved. Since the hotel was originally built in 1733, we doubt there has ever been such an ordeal within the grounds, or that there ever might be a situation so baffling as to break Alan’s concentration.
CAN YOU HELP?
Are you able to visit the hotel to examine the crime-scene and more closely interrogate the integrity of the young Yorkshire Head Chef, and the hotel as a whole? The survival of our remaining thirteen hens depends on you.
We are very much worried that our (yet to be fully recognised) fame as BEST COUNTRY HOUSE HOTEL IN YORKSHIRE OR PROBABLY THE WORLD is very much at stake. Interestingly, this would also be an opportunity for Jake, the wistful, local-lad-done-good, to talk you through the renovations, planned events and new awards for the hotel, during intense rounds of staff and guest questioning.
After examining all characterful and elegant eighteen bedrooms, and sampling the cuisine available in the Bar and Drawing Room Restaurant, we are confident that you, as an inquisitive, refined and successful news desk journalist, will be able to solve this great case.
Since the 2015 Jeremy Clarkson punch-up here, we have worked hard to avoid any notions of cruelty or mindful violence and this very incident, holds at question all of the immeasurable success and progress that Jake and his great team have made in the last (very almost) two years living at Simonstone Hall.
Do you have a date available in your diary to escape to the Yorkshire Dales and help solve the Simonstone Hall mystery of the missing chicken found dead at Simonstone Hall Hotel – The Best Hotel in Yorkshire, or probably the World?
We very much look forward to hearing from you, and hope that you can help.
The remaining hens, and Jake